you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
