Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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