So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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