I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
