great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
