NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
