i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
