I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
