did you get engaged???
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
