She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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