I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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