I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
tonight lets celebrate not being married
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
