she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
