what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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