Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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