Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
