I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize