once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wear drunk well.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
