She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
