I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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