She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
