At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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