You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
