he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize