"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
