just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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