I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
