we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
