I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
