Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
