Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
