Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I woke up under a house in Key West
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
