Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
