Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize