i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
