oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
