apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
