You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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