oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
