drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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