no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
