I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
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