I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
