Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Welp...herpes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
