he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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