I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
