Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
