a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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