the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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