the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
