Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
NoShamevember. You game?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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