Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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