i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
