I'm really into asian looking animals
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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