i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize