Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
