she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
