Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
