I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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