my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
