Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
