my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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