better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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